Give and Take
by music nimf
Summary: What do you do when your best friend is in love with the person you love? 5YL!80-5927


"Damnit, don't do this!"

"But it's true, and I can't help how I feel."

"Idiot! Such a fucking idiot!"

He grabbed the taller man by the shirt and pushed him against the wall having nothing left to say. Angry eyes sent a challenge to an already cease fired gaze, but he held it awkwardly anyway.

It wasn't right.

Angry and unmotivated Gokudera pushed Yamamoto against the wall one more time before letting go.

Yamamoto just stood there.

"Damnit! Damnit!"

* * *

Tsuna looked at his desk in dread of meeting his guardian's eyes. The tension in the room was stifling enough.

But Tsuna wasn't twelve anymore.

His eyes met the rain guardian's, and he was surprised when with one glance the tension washed away.

"I…"

"The mission went well, exactly as planned. Except they had planted a bomb in the building so I had to run out of it and there was a big explosion. It was like bazoom! I felt like one of those guys in those movies. Haha, it was pretty neat."

Tsuna was smiling. Why was he smiling?

"Well anyway, that's it. I'm hungry. Lambo and I-Pin are cooking one of your mother's recipes. I'll bring you some back."

Wait, no.

"Stop Yamamoto."

And he did, feet planted, hand frozen above the door handle.

"I, we need to talk. About Hayato."

He didn't move for a moment but still turned around to face Tsuna, sunny disposition gone, but the smile still there.

"Yes."

"He told me what you told him before your mission. Is it true?"

"Yes."

Tsuna suddenly felt tense.

"Are you sure? It could just be a temporary thing or misplaced emotion."

It was something that happened fairly often in their line of work, but that's not why Tsuna said it.

"Yes, I am."

There wasn't a word to describe the feeling in the room. It wasn't stifling or altogether awkward, but it was not good. Yamamoto, true to his nature, broke it.

"Tsuna, it's okay."

"No, it's not."

"No, it's not. But I want you to be happy and I want Gokudera to be happy too. It all works out for the best."

He was sincere. The tiny bit of ease Tsuna got from it made him feel ashamed.

"And don't worry, I won't get in your way. I'll just have to learn to live with this."

Sincere again, and another bite of shame.

"Stop."

Yamamoto looked at him curious

"You…"

But what was Tsuna supposed to say? 'He's not worth your life', 'go for it! There's no better guy than you.' What do you do when your best friend, the most deserving person you know, is in love with the person you love?

Tsuna hung his head, knowing that there was nothing left to say, but spoke anyway.

"Please don't do this."

Yamamoto smiled sadly and accepting.

"That's what Hayato said too."

He left and Tsuna felt tension fill the room.

* * *

He needed to talk to the Tenth.

Now that the idiot was away on assignment it was the perfect opportunity to see him. Bianchi was walking right behind him, but he couldn't bring himself to care.

"That stupid Yamamoto."

He couldn't stop his anger. He hadn't felt like this since he was a kid. And to think, he was walking on clouds just a day ago.

"Tsuna."

It made him smile the new way the Tenth's name rolled off his tongue.

Tsuna was his lifeline, and his hero, and his confidant, and his lover. He was his happiness and his smile and the reason he got out of bed and his reason to live, his reason to love.

Compared to that list, just "friend" didn't seem to compare, but then why was he so irritated by this?

Yamamoto was his friend. Sure he was also his rival and practically his shadow since they were kids, but that still didn't amount to as much as Tsuna. Tsuna was his sky and he would never leave him for anything.

Then why was he so upset? Yamamoto would just have to get over it and then he could beat the shit out of him for having thought such a stupid thing in the first place.

"You can't bear the thought, can you?" Gokudera turned around quickly at the voice.

"What? Bianchi, you…"

"But that's what you're afraid of, right? If you can't fix it he's going to leave you."

"What do you know Bianchi?"

"Just that Yamamoto Takeshi confessed his love for you and you don't feel the same."

"How…"

"That is not of consequence."

"The hell it's not!"

"You can't fix this Hayato. You can't love him the way he wants and he is going to leave you."

"Stop it, Bianchi."

"You've always been a brat Hayato. You can't bear the thought people leaving you, even if it's for their own good."

"But he's Yamamoto! That damn baseball idiot! That's not going to change!"

"Whether he changes or not is not the issue and soon it's not going to be any of your concern."

"Why are you saying this?"

"I'm your older sister. It is my responsibility to teach you in the ways of love, including sacrifice. You can no longer be friends with Yamamoto Takeshi for his sake and for the sake of your relationship."

"We're both Vongola Guardians! Even if I wanted to, that would not be possible."

"You know that's not true Hayato."

"But Tsuna…"

"Is not a brat, unlike you. He'll understand what needs to be done."

"But this isn't fair!"

When did he start sounding like he was six?

"All's fair in love little brother."

"Isn't there a second part to that saying?"

"Hmm"

And Bianchi walked away, leaving Gokudera to lick the old wounds his sister had just reopened.

"Damn her."

* * *

Gokudera stood outside of Tsuna's office straightening his tie. He reached for the handle only to find a face full of door instead. Severely pissed at being hit, he shot a glare at the offender, and before he fully registered who he was talking to, the words had left his mouth.

"Bastard! I could kill you for that!"

When his mind finally pieced together that the man he was accosting was indeed the correct match to fit those words, he was reminded that he hadn't seen this man in weeks. It became even more apparent when Yamamoto began blinking his eyes in confusion back at him, not expecting him either.

It was supposed to be awkward. It should have been awkward. But Yamamoto just scratched the back of his head and smiled ashamedly.

"Oh, it's you Gokudera. Long time no see."

And Gokudera was mad. He was madder than mad. How dare he? How fucking dare he? After all this time, after all the strain he had put on their lives, how could he be so casual? That bastard! He wanted to yell at him and tear him to shreds. Instead he swallowed his rage and gritted his teeth.

Yamamoto's smile not only stayed on his face, but it also seemed to get brighter.

"You're acting odd Gokudera. Did you miss me?"

Gokudera bristled at the question, but Yamamoto reached his arm around his shoulders, walking him down the hall.

"I was just heading over to the kitchen to see if dinner was ready. It's one of Tsuna's mother's recipes. Mmmm."

Gokudera was steaming mad and was just about to scream in his face that 'no, he was not going with him' and that 'he could go fuck himself for all he cared', but a single voice behind him stopped the words from coming out.

"Hayato?"

Gokudera twisted his head to see his boss and lover looking at the two of them with stunned disbelief before schooling his face into a tolerant expression. Suddenly it became vividly apparent that the left side of his body was pressed fully against the right side of Yamamoto's and how close their faces were. He pulled away quickly.

"Tenth! I was just coming to see you, before this idiot started dragging me around."

He looked Tsuna in the eye, begging him silently that there was nothing amiss and trying to express how strong his devotion was without words. Tsuna smiled reassuringly back at him and walked to join them.

"Actually, I was going to head over to have dinner with Yamamoto. Would you like to join us?"

Gokudera gave a mental sigh of relief and smiled brightly at him.

"Of course, Tenth! Nothing would make me happier."

Yamamoto walked between them and threw his arms around both of their shoulders cheerily.

"I knew you would come Gokudera. Tsuna's mother's recipes are the best."

Gokudera shot him an annoyed look and Tsuna gave him a startled one, but it was old hat and they all continued walking toward the kitchen with no problems. About half way there Yamamoto turned his smile toward Tsuna.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you Tsuna. A baseball scout talked to me the other day and told me that there may be a position for me in Kyoto! If I get it then I'm going to take it."

A shock of rage shot up Gokudera's spine.

"You can't just-"

"Congratulations Yamamoto. I'm sure you'll get it."

Gokudera looked quickly at Tsuna, stunned, but he quickly became contemplative when he saw that Tsuna looked both relieved and guilty at the same time.

"Thanks Tsuna. So if I get the spot, I won't be able to do as many missions, but I'll come help you if there is some trouble with the Family."

"Of course Yamamoto. You are always welcome here, you know that, right?"

Yamamoto didn't answer right away, but when he did he let out a quiet "yes" that seemed to take some of the tension out of Tsuna's shoulders. Gokudera wanted to shout that the baseball idiot didn't have a choice in the matter, but couldn't bring himself to steal away the comfort Tsuna was getting from this.

* * *

"Come in," Tsuna said when he heard the knock at the door.

In walked Hayato and he couldn't help the smile that his lips formed when he saw him. His paperwork seemed miles away. His lover stood in front of his desk shifting uncomfortably, looking straight at his face. Tsuna gave him a concerned look.

"Hayato, what's wrong?"

Gokudera looked away from Tsuna and paced a couple of times before sitting not as gracefully as he wanted into the chair in front of the Vongola boss' desk. He seemed to be having an internal battle with himself. He unknowingly hissed out words about "The idiot baseball freak" and Tsuna sat straighter, every muscle in his body saying that he was the boss and that he wanted an answer.

"Hayato, what happened to Yamamoto?"

Gokudera stared at him with wide eyes at his boss supposedly guessing who he came to talk about. Tsuna just stared back.

"Did something happen with Yamamoto's mission? Is he hurt?"

Gokudera straightened up at Tsuna's demanding stare and got himself together, easily shifting into his role as his boss' right hand man.

"He's not hurt Boss. The mission started with minimal problems. He's just an idiot."

Tsuna blinked at that, now more confused.

"Then what's wrong?"

Gokudera's mouth flattened into a straight line and he leaned into his chair with deliberate casualness.

"The idiot thinks he's in love with me."

Silence.

"What?"

"Before the mission that damn idiot told me that he was in love with me. That he absolutely had to say it. Obviously he has gone crazy."

Still silence and Gokudera started fidgeting with the rings on his finger. Tsuna was frowning again.

"You don't believe him, do you Boss?"

Tsuna's expression was still grim and that worried Gokudera. He was going to try and comfort him, but Tsuna spoke again.

"Did...what did you say to him?"

This time it was Gokudera that was surprised.

"Wha-?"

"When he said that he loved you, what did you say back to him?"

Gokudera pieced the words together in his head and didn't like what he was reading between the lines. Suddenly he was leaning against the desk, hands covering Tsuna's.

"Boss, Tsuna. I love you more than anything and I don't even posses a thought of leaving you for anybody. There is nobody better than you."

Tsuna looked at their hands together and then up at the other man's face and gave him a small smile, gripping Gokudera's hands so that his thumbs could run along his palms. Gokudera sat on his desk and they both stayed that way for a while until Tsuna spoke again, this time with curiosity only.

"So what did you say to him?"

Gokudera shook his head and smirked slightly.

"My response was to throw him into a wall"

Tsuna shook his head at that. Typical.

"Does he know that you don't feel the same?"

Gokudera shot a grim look off to the side.

"Oh, he knows."

Tsuna caught the look and couldn't help the grim expression that crossed his face as well. Gokudera's mind went back to the argument he had just had with Bianchi in the hall.

"What are we going to do?"

Tsuna looked down at his desk.

"I don't know."

**A/N: This is one of those unfinished fics that you save on your computer for years. Except I finished it. Reviews are always appreciated. And yes, the parts are not in chronological order.**


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